You Look Happy

Is this why we never see pictures of Jordan smiling? Because she’s only genuinely happy when she’s running like an absolute goon, with her peepers squeezed shut and cheesy beats blaring out over her stupid headphones.

Jordan was running the half-marathon at Silverstone for charity yesterday and managed to finish the race despite having an injured knee.

She wrote on Twitter: “I had amazing day with AMAZING people running for charities my knee has gone again but we all completed it ill post pic of medals later.

“Well done everyone who ran the silverstone half marathon from what I saw you were all fantasic and helped me get through to the end.”

Jordan also took the opportunity to set straight a few rumours written in yesterday’s News of the World. It was reported that she came onto Jamie Foxx at the Oscars party in LA, with her angling for a kiss and passing the actor man her number.

But Jordan wrote on Twitter: “Such a shame a nice and innocent meeting with the charming gent jamie fox is turned into something sordid!!”

She added that she was sooooo not bovvered about stories written in the People about Alex Reid sleeping with someone else. Jordan wrote: “When The People called re Alex sleeping with sum girl my response was that what Alex does is no longer my concern.”

Right, is that everything? All the rumours out of the way? Tweets done with? No more silly pictures to laugh at? Good.

Awwww, poor Dougie McFly

Let’s hope Dougie Poynter (what a stuid name) isn’t allowed to read the papers in that posh rehab of his – on the same day it emerged the cute little McFly man I'd like to squeeze in a sexy way had taken himself off to the Priory, Frankie was snapped leaving a pretentious restaurant with her new boyfriend Wayne Bridge (who is a footballer, and therefor a utter wanker).

I'm guessing that Frankie wasn’t aware that Dougie was in rehab recovering from the stress of their break up, because she surely wouldn’t have gone out to a wanky nightspot (with such a wanky guy) otherwise. 

Before the story broke in yesterday’s papers, Tom McFly and Harry McFly explained the situation to their fans over Twitter.

Harry wrote: “Doug is in rehab. He's just taking some time out. He's fine and is so please dont worry. He can't wait for the tour!!! I'll send him your love.”

Tom added: “He’s just been having a tough time lately and needed a few weeks rest so he's fighting fit and ready to slap that bass for you on tour.”

And after visiting Dougie  who I'd like to rub up against sensually on Sunday, Harry said: “I’m questioning my life at the moment. We’re best friends.” 

This story makes me a bit sad – the McFly boys are nice and normal and I like them. Let’s go and stare at the sunshine for a bit. Not directly, that would be stupid...and anyway, we northeners don't like sunlight... 

You Almost Look Sober...

Looking sober and / or attractive is virtually impossible at 5.30am when you're leaving Balans bar in Soho. I know this from bitter experience.
Don't get too excited, I've got no idea if Nicola Roberts was dancing naked up and down the bar whilst shouting "Ginger for life!" or just chin-wagging with an old pal or two, but we do know that she looks suspiciously fit for the hour of 5. We might even say she looks totally sober and compos mentis...
But that ain't our style.
Nicola's famous barnet (which is normally so amazingly groomed and shiny and carroty) is a mess.
A big, unkempt, i-danced-and-whipped-my-hair-and-got-all-sweaty-doing-some-bump-n-grind-and-it-got-all-tangled, mess.
So therefore she must have been drunk (makes sense, dunnit?).
But at least she's happy.
That's it really... I just love a ginge, don't you?

Willow Smith is AMAZING x2

And while she was warming up the crowd at the National Indoor Arena, she also nabbed the Outstanding New Artist Award at the NAACP Image Awards in Los Angeles.

The daughter of actors Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith tweeted after receiving the news, posting: ‘OMG… just got word that I won an NAACP Image Award… SO honored & so excited.’
Her proud parents chaperoned her to Birmingham and sat in the audience while the Whip My Hair singer rocked out on stage before Bieber started his 90 minute set.

She sang and danced on stage in a royal blue and pink Adidas tracksuit, alongside her backup dancers, also dressed in brightly coloured outfits.

How epic is she?

This is IMPORTANT

A lot of people are having a bit of a panic over Cheryl's current reported unhappyness. But I think that they have missed the real story here...
Look at the picture...

Now can you see what's wrong?
Do you want a clue?
Where is she from?

That's right NEWCASTLE, and as a geordie myself I saw the problem instantly. SHE IS WEARING A COAT!!!!!!!!!!
no true geordie in their right mind would ever wear a coat...she needs therapy

Look, it's Katie Price

Oh no, my bad, it's just Olly Murs, and he's just pulling a stupid face to show what a wacky, madcap, crazy fun guy he is. What a hoot.
Still, if - alright, when - Olly's singing career goes tits up, it's nice to know he can make it as a Jordan impersonator.

I want to BE a cardigan...

wow, that is the first time in my life that i have ever wanted to be an item of knitwear...
If, before I'd seen these pictures, you'd asked us if a multi-coloured stripey cardigan could be sexy on a man, we would have made the most dismissive face imaginable and you would have felt so small. So small like Derek Hough's dick
But now that David Beckham and Adam Levine have both worn the Ralph Lauren creation (wow, Rachel Green works there), it's making me feel all funny.
I actually like to think that David and Adam (mmm, nice solid man names) are secret mates who enjoy sharing clothes, and therefore that it's the same cardigan, soaked in a delicious cocktail of Levine sweat and Beckham musk.
And that's a celebrity perfume I'd actually buy